Leia says that her son is gone, accepts it. Luke says no one’s every truly gone – gives her han’s dice – but the subtext is that he’s saying it to console Leia that Ben Solo is still around (even if only in memory). I think Leia has accepted it and won’t try to get her son back directly the way she did in TFA, she has bigger issues now – officially.
Luke said that HE couldn’t be the one to bring Kylo back, that he wasn’t there to forgive Kylo and bring him back. But didn’t say he cOULDN’T be brought back. Yoda, though, DID say that while Luke failed Kylo – he could still save Rey, so make of that what you will. Yoda wasn’t always really big on redemption tbh.
They certainly do NOT hate him, it was more just accepting that…okay, well, Kylo has made his choice and it’s not aligned with mine so…so be it.
I don’t feel sorry for Kylo mainly because he killed Snoke and his influence, and then instead of accepting Rey’s offer for help he immediately steps into the supreme leader role and tries to get HER to join HIM. It’s totally misguided, but ultimately that was his choice. So I sympathize and want him to maKE BETTER CHOICES GOD DAMMIT KYLO, but I don’t feel BAD for him. Luke, Leia, and Rey all gave him a chance to come back.
I think for Kylo it’s just more complicated than that, and we’ll see that in Ep 9. And Rey I think realizes that too now – that she can’t just call him Ben Solo repeatedly, talk about his conflict and how she KNOWS there’s light for him, and expect him to do a total 180 in one movie/interaction. But it WAS enough for him to choose HER over SNOKE, so that’s the first big step and I’m excited.
I think Rey is probably the only one who will actively play any role in Kylo being redeemed or finding his way back.