ceallaigheirinn:

Rey was going about it all wrong to bring Ben home.

Hear me out.

She left Ahch-To misguided. She left thinking that Ben Solo would be an adequate substitute when Luke refused to join the war. She saw him as the Great Jedi Hope that would be this magical bit that would turn the tide. It was no different than her childlike magical thinking that would bring her parents back.

Luke knew that wouldn’t be a good enough reason for Ben to return home or to win a war. He was right that it wasn’t going to end the way she thought.

Ben Solo is a terrified boy hard wired by trauma and rejection. He was a boy who woke to the greatest Jedi ever a hair’s breadth from killing him. In that moment he felt that his family had thrown him away. Deep down inside he’s no different than Rey, except he’s at a place in life where he can verbalize that feeling.

Ben is looking desperately for someone not to throw him away. And when it happens (and he feels like Rey did when he woke alone) he channels that hurt into rage. He replaces that longing for belonging with a longing for power. Because you can’t be hurt if you’re the one doing the hurting.

So Rey will never be able to guide Ben home if she’s looking for him as a weapon. A weapon is something he becomes when he is in his fight or flight mode. It’s how he becomes a ball of jagged glass that no one wants to touch. He’ll hurt you first just so that you can’t hurt him.

Rather Ben will follow her anywhere and fully once he no longer needs to hide as a sharp and cutting weapon. He needs to know that he is safe, where he can be vulnerable and not be mocked like Snoke did to him for years. He needs to know that taking his glove off and reaching back won’t hurt. And he needs to know that when he wakes, someone will still be there.

Rey can find him. She can serve as his footlights home. But it can never be in the construct of being a weapon. Kylo is a weapon. She needs to lead the scared boy that still dreams that someone will love him without strings attached home. You can’t drag a scared creature out of the shadows. He will bite and snarl like a wounded animal he is.

Rather she needs to be patient and let him emerge from the shadows and encourage him on his journey.